I’ve been hearing the word “detour” over and over again. My natural tendency is to think my life has taken a major detour because it did not go the way that I thought it would.
Definition of de·tour: noun.A long or roundabout route taken to avoid something or to visit somewhere along the way.
Everything changed in a matter of 3 months. I lost my safe place, my trust in my therapist, my volunteer position, my position at my church, a best friend, and my church family in an avalanche of betrayal. My entire schedule went from fulfilling daily activities to empty and there was nothing left except God. All I could say was “Tho He slay me, yet will I trust Him.” I could not understand how the people who were my inner circle, who I trusted to really let into my life on a deep level and who had walked with me through all the hard things I had to do to walk out my healing could betray me the way they did. It took me over a month of daily surrendering to being slain to regain the breath it knocked out of me. I am so thankful for deep roots in Christ! When all hell breaks lose and the enemy shoots arrows from every side and your only protection is in the secret place, you must speak the Word and you must trust that God has a plan and that He will work it for your good. Because He will! He is faithful! But He also loves us too much to always rescue us and not let us walk through pain that will push us into a deeper relationship with Him. This last summer has been the most painful of my entire life. But I can honestly say that if I was given the opportunity to change it and go back to the day before the betrayal and it all be different and I could still be living that life and still be comfortable and happy and have what I wanted in the first place, I would not take it. It sucked, and I would not wish that kind of pain on anyone, but I would do it 100 more times to gain what I have gained in my relationship with the Lord.
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” —Romans 8:28
I have realized that this “detour” is only a detour because I put my own agenda before God’s perfect plan for my life. He is still operating in plan A. He did not need a detour or a plan B. He was not caught off guard by the choices that were made. This is all part of His bigger plan and I am so glad that He knows my heart and does what is best for me when I can only see the future dimly. What I thought was a detour was really God moving me to a new level. His hedge of protection is on me and when He says “go” then I must trust that it is for my good and for my protection.
I was never one that was a leader. I was never one to step out of the boat and know how to go where God was saying to go without someone holding my hand. I was not anointed to go into all the world and preach the Gospel. I was needy. I was afraid of my own shadow. I was quiet…shy…broken…not good enough…I couldn’t even hold my head up in public, much less look someone in the eye. But I was under construction.
I got a revelation that in Christ, I am a new creation. I learned to do things afraid. I learned to trust. I learned to love. What has happened to me has not defined me. It has caused me to love people harder, trust God more, and do bigger things afraid. It has not hardened my heart, but instead it enabled me to give more grace. It showed me that love is real, and I am no longer afraid of it.
Every time it comes to my mind, before it can grab hold of space to rent in my head, I have made a habit of asking the Lord to give them a double portion blessing. The enemy quit tormenting me with the memories immediately. It’s amazing how prayer and speaking God’s word sets us free. More than that, God is so faithful that He healed my heart and makes me WANT them to have a double portion blessing. He lets me rejoice in what He is doing in their lives. He lets me continue to feel love for them through prayer. Only God can do that!! He is so faithful!!!