I’m not great at the details. If I’m doing a project then I tend to lean towards perfectionism but I’m working on it. I’m learning to add my own name to the list of every other person in the world that I try to show grace and compassion. But mostly, I have a streamlined focus on things that are important to me and beyond that, I don’t see the details of the world around me. I don’t want to get caught up in the details anymore. I have learned in the past that when I get stuck in the details, it leads to me being bossy and controlling, both of which I, unfortunately, demonstrated well. I really love the freedom that comes with leaving the details to God.
It was beautiful outside today and I really wanted to be in the fresh air, so I took a break from my homework and went outside to detail my car. Geez, at the mess my child leaves in the car, the homework papers on the floor, the wadded up jacket on the seat, the myriad of gum wrappers, a book bag, lip gloss, markers, a necklace, two headbands, and pennies she has stuffed in the cup holders. Having to drive her 45 minutes to school has made me really lenient about what I let her take in the car. She has been very sick this week so I carried all her stuff inside for her then I went back out to finish detailing my car.
I took my time and cleaned every little detail and as I was cleaning, I started thinking about how I got this car to start with. It’s a nice car, its only 3 years old and I enjoy driving it. I prayed for months about trading in my last car, but being a single parent on disability really limits my income so it was a big decision and I had to wait for His timing. When the time came, I had not had a car payment in over 6 years and had no established credit, plus my debt to income ratio was terrible. However, I literally made a phone call, told them what I wanted and it was pulled up to the door waiting for me when I arrived at the dealership. I realize most people would not want to buy a car like that but I was still healing from trauma and I needed it to happen that way. That’s how God works, He knows what we need!
Then I started thinking about all the other things…friendships, opportunities, and new levels of ministry that He has recently brought into my life. It was a lot like the car. One day I didn’t have it, and the next day I would find myself fully submerged in this new way of life as if I planned out every critical detail. The truth is, I cried..a lot. I prayed..a lot. I reminded myself daily that God had me because I was devastated and I did not have it in me to plan my next meal, much less the details of a whole new season of life. But God was in the details and I am beyond grateful that I was obedient in that pain. For two reasons I think. One, because I sure don’t want to walk through that wilderness again…EVER. Two, because He continues to work out the details in ways that I could never imagine or think to ask.
So, I got wrapped up in thinking about how God is in the details and how much more wonderful my life is because of that. Then, I got really excited because I started to envision the day that a sister in Christ’s prayer comes to fruition and God provides her with a car. It’s coming, sooner than later, and it makes my heart happy to get to help her pray it in.
Give God the details and just be obedient. Rest in His perfect timing and know His plan is always better than ours. He’s the best micromanager ever and the return is thirty, sixty, and one hundred fold!
Yay God! I love Him so much!! He has changed me and I will serve Him forever!