I am so excited! This week is going to be life changing in more than one way. I am still having moments that I can’t believe it’s really happening and that it’s happening for me. Rivers of Living water are not to be reserved for a bad day. Let the healing water flow! Oh my goodness, I can’t believe I get to live this life!!
We had a life group meeting today and we are doing a study on the book of Ephesians and putting on the whole armor of God so that we can stand firm against the enemy. God’s timing is always perfect! He knew that when He asked me to step this far out of the boat that He needed to send a reminder of how to battle the spiritual warfare that will come and how to stand firm in who I am in Christ.
I think that is why joy just overwhelms me sometimes and I feel like if I don’t get it out of me that I’m going to explode. The joy of the Lord is my strength and for me, I think when I share that joy it always makes the glory more tangible. That’s such a great place to live. Okay, I’m going to try to get back to the story, I’m having a moment. I had some encounters today where I did have to to do some spiritual warfare and I’m a little bit overwhelmed with the power of God right now. I will try to focus…
In the life group, we were discussing some of the lies that Satan tells us to try and make us feel worthless and unloved. If he can take away our self-worth then he can make us much less effective or even cripple us from being usable for the Kingdom of God. There was a list of about 15 different lies, from “I’m worthless” to “nobody will ever love me”. I’m looking at the list and I realize that every single one of these lies had been spoken over my life in the past so I shared that and it’s very easy for me to talk about things that I have been delivered from because I want other people to be set free. There is a calling on my life to share my story so it comes very easy to me and there is no shame. However, today was different because I could read the words and logically know that it had been spoken over me and to me, but God has healed me so much and the painful memories had been rewritten so well, that it was all just a BLUR. I can’t hardly identify with how all that felt because we rewrote so much of my story that my memories have truly changed. God has healed them so much that I didn’t have words to explain the negativity that comes with Satan’s lies. I was a little astounded to realize how much I have internalized the fact that I am a loved, redeemed, valuable, child of the most High God. He is my Heavenly Father, Abba Daddy, and I can run to His lavish embrace because He loves me extravagantly. We love each other extravagantly! I know trauma hurts, it’s devastating but I think that’s all I really need to remember. It wasn’t mine to carry anymore, I got a revelation today that it is really not a part of me anymore.
So, I’m thankful for the BLUR. I don’t want to forget it completely because I want to be able to relate and understand what hurting people need but I’ll take it in BLUR form. I’ll take it wrapped up in the hope and love of Jesus Christ, my Savior, and Redeemer. I’ll let the rivers of living water flow and I’ll share with every hurting person God puts in my path. I struggled today to come up with words to entertain Satan’s lies related to my past, but ask me about my Jesus and I can talk about Him all day!!
Two thoughts really sum it all up… 1. The devil is a liar! 2. We are fearfully and wonderfully made and God loves us extravagantly! That is the message that wants to burst out of me. I have the words, “Can I just tell you how much God loves you?” in my mind all the time. Most of the time I don’t ask of course. Actions speak much louder than words. Just love them! We have to let Jesus love them through us. Everyone needs to be loved, including me!