Some days I feel like I am climbing an endless wall that someone has deliberately placed in front of me. There is no rope nor ladder, I am tired, my shoulders ache and my socks are sliding down into my shoes. The wall leans slightly towards me regardless of what angle I approach it and it casts an uncomfortable shadow if I get too far from the Son. I can imagine it wanting to crash down on me, to consume me, if only the Lord wasn’t so faithful to protect me. I want to tear it down but then I remember Nehemiah and realize I should stop and ask God what plans He has for this wall.
The fear of the Lord is a funny thing. I fear Him and yet I am not afraid of Him at all. I reverence Him and I love Him. What I do fear is climbing a wall He hasn’t asked me to climb or worse tearing it down completely only to find out He placed it there for my good. Ever so often when I was reaching a new level, my therapist would send me back to read the book of Nehemiah. God is doing a new thing, I see it springing forth. Maybe this wall is my springboard. Maybe tonight, I will read Nehemiah.
Or, maybe it’s just a wall that came because I’m advancing the Kingdom of God in my everyday life and the enemy hates me. Maybe, I need to speak to it and tell it to go jump in the sea. Maybe instead of climbing the wall, I need to invite the Lord to do with it as He pleases and see if He lets me obliterate it. He’s good about that. When He takes care of something that has come at me as a flaming arrow, He does it completely.
Darkness has stolen the day, it’s 9:45 pm and I’ve left the wall alone for now. A few sticky notes on it here and there, declaring the Word of the Lord. Stand or fall, nothing can happen to me without it first passing through the hands of God. Walls keep things out and they keep things in. The wall is not bad. It’s just a wall. God knows exactly what to do with it and I’m so thankful to know that He is already working behind the scenes, pouring concrete, planting flowers, sending a bulldozer, who knows? I don’t have to know the details because I know His heart. So, I will sleep well, I will awake refreshed, and I will wait for the Lord to send the proper climbing gear if this is a wall I am meant to be climbing.
Climbing is a journey. Do it well.