There is a fine line for me between isolation and feeling like I have to recharge because I have nothing left to give out. Change is hard for me, and I have experienced an insane amount of change in the last six months. I’m learning to expect it. I experience an awkward excitement in it. But honestly, many of my days are filled with the question of “why me?”
I volunteered at my daughter’s school today. I love that they always start the day with devotions. God is so faithful to give us what we need. I was sitting there thinking that I am so far in over my head, that I can’t possibly move any farther out of my comfort zone. I am not capable of doing all that God is calling me to do. But I was reassured that I am actually the perfect person to do what He is asking me to do BECAUSE I’m completely incapable.
The pastor made such a simple but powerful statement: God wants us to be available and worshipful. That’s so true. He isn’t waiting for us to become the “right” person and accomplish x, y, and z before He can use us. We are most usable when we are incapable, available, and worshipful. Then everyone knows that it is all God working through us and He gets the glory due Him.
We must never forget that God looks at the heart.
I’ve been thinking about my weight a lot lately. Convicted I admit. But I’ve also had a level of compassion that I’ve never experienced downloaded into my heart for women who struggle with their weight. I realized this morning how much this message is needed for them. Everyone can be available and worshipful. God has a special plan for every person and He is not holding a sign up that says line up here when you have lost enough weight because then you will be usable.
I’m not saying don’t lose weight. We need to be healthy and take care of our body. I think the healthier we are, the more we will be able to accomplish for the Kingdom. HOWEVER, I do not think to be overweight should make anyone feel like they are not useable. God does not want us to put being about the Father’s business on hold while we lose weight.
A lot of people struggle with weight. I have always struggled with weight and I’m not happy about it but I don’t want to miss out on all the other things I can be doing while working on my weight.
People have told me more than once that I can’t be a witness for Christ without losing weight. I’ve realized that is a lie from the pit of hell!
I’m useable, I’m valuable, and I am loved. My weight does not change that. I think there are a lot of women that need to hear that and my heart hurts for them. I want to tell them how much God loves them just the way they are. I wish I could hug them and tell them they are amazing, beautiful women who have so much to offer.
Weight is only one thing about us. It is a number and I think when we get everything else in order…our prayer life, our worship, our obedience, and our fellowship with other believers, the weight will be more manageable. For someone who is struggling with weight loss, it’s often an ongoing battle that feels impossible. But when we have developed a relationship with Christ that heals other areas of our life, then we are more equipped to start to deal with the weight issues. I’m not saying it makes it easy because it has not been easy for me. But He is so faithful! I have seen Him heal every other area of my life that I have given Him. I know He is just waiting for me to surrender my control over my weight and He will heal that too.
I am getting to a point now that I am ready to deal with my weight. It needs to happen. But I’m so thankful that I didn’t wait to say “here am I, send me” until I lost weight.
Be available. Be worshipful. Be you.