I’ve been able to do more writing lately than usual and I’m having to go back and read old emails and journal entries to help me remember what I need to include. I never imagined that I could ever live in a place where my state of mind was consistently content and joyful. I honestly wasn’t sure that anyone did, maybe their smile was just as fake as mine. But I get it today! Wow, God is faithful to restore what the enemy steals from us when we let Him. I very much remember my entire life falling into a forlorn category, but I’m having to jog my memory on the details because life is so different today. I was a really miserable person with a forlorn hope written all over me. God has healed me so much! I can’t think of a single day in the last year that I have even come close to being forlorn about anything. Sad…yes. Struggled…yes. Forlorn…no!
I have spent about 5 hours today online with a live chat agent trying to get my phone to work. I purchased a new SIM card as instructed, then got back in touch with them, but that didn’t work either. So, tomorrow I will have to call someone in a higher department, for now, I’m just thankful that I have a computer and I’m not fully isolated without a way to communicate. Seriously, how did people ever live without phones? I’m not super attached to my cell phone. I’m not flipping out that it doesn’t work because I can still get on FB messenger and get in contact with someone if I need something. But there is something about having no way to contact anyone that I find super scary. It makes me feel powerless and I hate that feeling!! So, I’ve had moments of sighing, grumbling, and having an extra cup of coffee because I didn’t like the way I was feeling. But overall, I remembered to pray, I put on praise and worship music, and the good outweighed the bad. God is faithful and who knows why He allowed that to happen today? I’m just choosing to know that I can just roll with it because it could not have happened to me unless He allowed it. Maybe it kept me home to keep me safe or protect me from some other negative conflict that I can just choose to praise Him for protecting me from. Maybe its just as simple as a broken phone. I will probably never know. It’s really not THAT big of a deal. It wasted a lot of my time, I got frustrated, but then I got alone with God and said, “okay, this has totally wasted hours of my day, please fill me up and redeem my time so I can go to life group refreshed and able to pour out if someone needs me.” I’ve learned that I can walk away. I can start my day over. I didn’t even take my phone with me. I just left it on my desk and Walked. Away. Slowly. Okay, not really. I left it on my desk and rushed to get ready so I had time to buy a SIM card before I went to life group. I’m a work in progress. Life group was great! It was about what does matter, and I really enjoyed it. Now, tomorrow I will wake up and get to go visit a friend and have coffee with her since I need to borrow a phone to call and have mine fixed. See, I knew there would be a silver lining if I looked hard enough 🙂
Through it all, I never lost my joy or my peace, or became overly frustrated, or angry. It’s just a phone today. I can’t say it was always like that for me. When I lived a forlorn daily life, something like this would have been a major blow to my already pitiful life and I would not have handled it well at all. Praise God! I am not defined by everything that goes wrong today. God is so good!
If you are feeling forlorn today, please know that God loves you so much! He wants to bring you out of the pain and into His joyous strength. I pray that if you feel forlorn that the Lord sends someone into your life to minister to you and to show you everything God has for you. Blessings, Sharon