I’ve been without central air since last Saturday, and its been in the 90’s all week. My home has not been my normal, comfortable retreat where I very much enjoy spending time. It has basically been turned into a sauna. It’s a sauna without an off switch! But it is still home, and as sweet as my loving friends have been to offer spare bedrooms, I find myself staying home. I really missed my cats while at the beach. I may or may not be avoiding feeling that way again so soon.
I waited over two hours to make coffee this morning because it was so hot when I woke up. That is not normal! I’ve made smoothies instead of meals to combat the heat and ice cream, frosty, soda cravings. My level of uncomfortable has convinced my body that it must consume the coldest drinks possible. Guilt free fruit smoothies to the rescue!
I have also entered into some kind of self-preserving defensive mode where I need to conserve energy by sitting on the couch with the air blowing directly on me from the nearby fans. I walk to the fridge without a clear thought about what I’m doing or any awareness at all that I am not hungry. Maybe I just find the cool air inside the fridge to be refreshing because it’s surely too hot to be cooking! But seriously, being this hot for a week straight does make you stop and consider how blessed you are to have central air.
Several times I have thought about the many people who live without air conditioning everyday. I’ve thought about all the times that I said growing up that I wanted to be a missionary. And about how I want to travel the world to speak and see people get set free. Would I really go to a place where the temp reaches into the 100’s every day with no air conditioning within a hundred mile radius? I’ve really done some soul-searching. I think I would go. I would go. If Jesus said to go, I would be obedient no matter what. But…I hope He often calls me to speak in air-conditioned buildings with comfortable accommodations. Its hard. There is a cost for the anointing and I suppose part of the cost for me this week has been to endure this trial with a positive attitude and be very thankful that delivery for the compressor is only 7 days. Praise the Lord that it wasn’t 14 days!
It’s not easy. I’ve found myself even saying it’s too hot to lay a leather Bible on my lap so I will read it tonight when its cooler. Days like this I’ve found extreme gratitude in the Bible app reading to me. I’ve noticed all the things I don’t normally think to be thankful for. I’ve also noticed that I am constantly trying to change the way I feel. I’ve had a real awareness that my flesh’s first response is not to go seek Jesus. I want a cold shower ten times a day. I want ice cream for every meal. I want to go spend 100.00 for an air conditioner that I would literally use for 4 days. It has been surprising to see how quickly my flesh turns away from the Lord and how much effort it takes to press in and lay a sticky leather Bible on my lap and read it. How much harder it has been to focus when praying! Its like the excessive sweat has caused major brain-fog. My heart longs for the daily intimacy and so I fight back. I do the hard thing and invite Jesus into my uncomfortable. I tell Him how awful it is, and He adjusts my focus to see the bigger picture. To refocus on Him. To find gratitude. But goodness, it requires more effort than I would have thought. I used to not do things that pushed me outside my comfort zone. But, oh the joy that comes from pressing in to do them now! I am always saying “do it afraid” but this week it may need to shift to “do it uncomfortable”.
Truthfully, I should be used to uncomfortable by now. God never leaves me comfortable for too long. He is always prodding me forward to trust Him more. So, as I sit at my desk this week and work in the heat, I will offer my work to God before I begin, and thank Him afterward for the privilege of having done it for His sake.
There is a shift coming out of this trail. I can’t put my finger on it, but I sense the supernatural way it will work for my good because I love Him, and I am called according to His purpose. The “uncomfortable” has not come to stay. This is a season of acceleration and how wonderful are all the new things happening. I’m thankful for the pebbles along the path that make me uncomfortable enough to see the unnoticed things with my spiritual eyes. Praise the Lord!